Every girl has one. Maybe guys too but I can't really speak to that. Perhaps I should be more specific. Every FAT girl has one, probably more than one (I had over 50, I counted). What am I talking about? Skinny outfits. The goal outfit, the dream outfit, whatever you want to call it. It's the outfit that absolutely doesn't fit but we can't part with it because someday, eventually, we are going to lose the weight and we'll wear it! And oh how sweet that victory will be and when we finally slide that outfit on our newly thin figure it'll be the sexiest we've ever felt.
The reality is that most won't ever wear it and of the ones that do manage it, the majority will gain the weight back. I know I have. I currently sit at just 4 pounds shy of the heaviest I've ever been. I could talk about how much I hate being this weight and I could also give a list of reasons why I'm this heavy (some of them are even valid) but honestly the bare bones truth is much simpler if not exactly easy to hear. Really it mainly comes down to bad choices and laziness.
Am I fat shaming myself? Absolutely not. Coming to terms with the truth and realizing there is a problem is not 'shaming'. Unfortunately though, many see it that way. Anything less then being in love with your body, regardless of its' shape and size is seen as body shaming. There's nothing wrong with loving yourself and I do not agree with or support bullying. However, I also think it's just as harmful to spout the 'love yourself' mantra and ignore that you may have physical issues that need to be dealt with. Let's be clear here, I'm talking about FAT, not merely being big. I've met people who were big and that others may have assumed were fat but in fact it's really muscle or just their body structure and they were perfectly healthy. I'm not talking about those people. I'm referring to the people who are absolutely overweight and they know it. If they were healthy, they would not be that weight.
Let's look at a few statistics from The State of Obesity.org:
Being obese or overweight increases your risks of:
But I'm not saying anything new am I? We all know this, we hear it all the time. (And yes, I'm aware that you can be thin and horribly unhealthy as well.) So why then, when we know a friend is genuinely overweight do we ignore that and tell them to 'love themselves'? Isn't part of loving yourself taking care of yourself? Shouldn't we encourage ourselves and the people we love to strive to be their best self?
Day by day I'm working on myself, trying to create healthier habits and discard the ones that are only hurting me. I don't want people to tell me that I look great just the way I am and to love my body. I do love myself, but I do not love where my body and health is at right now. In some ways I pity myself for the time I've wasted ignoring the problem. I am FAT and recognizing that is not fat shaming, nor is it when I see it in someone else. I will not tell someone to 'love their body just the way it is' because ultimately that's a rainbow sunshine unicorn fart statement that is empty. 'Love yourself, and take care of yourself' is more true.
I got rid of all the 'skinny outfits' that I knew it wasn't realistic that I'd ever wear. I did a major purge of all the clothes I own and I only kept a goal outfit if A) I really really loved it, and B) it would fit well inside 20-30lbs. It had to meet both requirements to make the keep pile because I know to start out with 20-30lbs is realistic and it's a goal that doesn't seem so far away and unattainable as to be discouraging. That ended up being only 3 items of clothing out of over 50 and I'm ok with that. Once I get there I get to have the fun of finding a new goal outfit for the next 20lbs.
I guess the moral of the post is don't fat shame, certainly not, but don't fat IGNORE either.
"Be good to yourself... you and your body are going to be together for a long time." -Death Becomes Her
The reality is that most won't ever wear it and of the ones that do manage it, the majority will gain the weight back. I know I have. I currently sit at just 4 pounds shy of the heaviest I've ever been. I could talk about how much I hate being this weight and I could also give a list of reasons why I'm this heavy (some of them are even valid) but honestly the bare bones truth is much simpler if not exactly easy to hear. Really it mainly comes down to bad choices and laziness.
Am I fat shaming myself? Absolutely not. Coming to terms with the truth and realizing there is a problem is not 'shaming'. Unfortunately though, many see it that way. Anything less then being in love with your body, regardless of its' shape and size is seen as body shaming. There's nothing wrong with loving yourself and I do not agree with or support bullying. However, I also think it's just as harmful to spout the 'love yourself' mantra and ignore that you may have physical issues that need to be dealt with. Let's be clear here, I'm talking about FAT, not merely being big. I've met people who were big and that others may have assumed were fat but in fact it's really muscle or just their body structure and they were perfectly healthy. I'm not talking about those people. I'm referring to the people who are absolutely overweight and they know it. If they were healthy, they would not be that weight.
Let's look at a few statistics from The State of Obesity.org:
- More than a third of adults (34.9 percent) were obese as of 2011 to 2012. More than two-thirds of adults were overweight or obese (68.6 percent).
- Approximately 17 percent of children and teenagers (ages 2 to 19) were obese from 2011 to 2012, and 31.8 percent were either overweight or obese.
- By ages 12 to 19, 20.5 percent of children and adolescents were obese.
- Over the past 35 years, adult obesity rates have more than doubled. The average American is more than 24 pounds heavier today than in 1960.
- Childhood obesity rates have more than tripled since 1980.
Being obese or overweight increases your risks of:
- High blood pressure (Hypertension)
- High LDL cholesterol, low HDL cholesterol, or high levels of triglycerides (Dyslipidemia)
- Type 2 diabetes
- Coronary heart disease
- Stroke
- Gallbladder disease
- Osteoarthritis (a breakdown of cartilage and bone within a joint)
- Sleep apnea and breathing problems
- Some cancers (endometrial, breast, colon, kidney, gallbladder, and liver)
- Low quality of life
- Mental illness such as clinical depression, anxiety, and other mental disorders
- Body pain and difficulty with physical functioning (source)
But I'm not saying anything new am I? We all know this, we hear it all the time. (And yes, I'm aware that you can be thin and horribly unhealthy as well.) So why then, when we know a friend is genuinely overweight do we ignore that and tell them to 'love themselves'? Isn't part of loving yourself taking care of yourself? Shouldn't we encourage ourselves and the people we love to strive to be their best self?
Day by day I'm working on myself, trying to create healthier habits and discard the ones that are only hurting me. I don't want people to tell me that I look great just the way I am and to love my body. I do love myself, but I do not love where my body and health is at right now. In some ways I pity myself for the time I've wasted ignoring the problem. I am FAT and recognizing that is not fat shaming, nor is it when I see it in someone else. I will not tell someone to 'love their body just the way it is' because ultimately that's a rainbow sunshine unicorn fart statement that is empty. 'Love yourself, and take care of yourself' is more true.
I got rid of all the 'skinny outfits' that I knew it wasn't realistic that I'd ever wear. I did a major purge of all the clothes I own and I only kept a goal outfit if A) I really really loved it, and B) it would fit well inside 20-30lbs. It had to meet both requirements to make the keep pile because I know to start out with 20-30lbs is realistic and it's a goal that doesn't seem so far away and unattainable as to be discouraging. That ended up being only 3 items of clothing out of over 50 and I'm ok with that. Once I get there I get to have the fun of finding a new goal outfit for the next 20lbs.
I guess the moral of the post is don't fat shame, certainly not, but don't fat IGNORE either.
"Be good to yourself... you and your body are going to be together for a long time." -Death Becomes Her